Guppy

2007-10-27T14:03:00.000-07:00

HUSBAND IS BACK

He has actually been back for about a week now but until today we had honeymoon. Today his regular P/A stuff reared it's ugly head.
It happens like a little storm. He gets more and more 'pushed' (I think that how he feels) and eventually he explodes. That includes blaming me for not loving him, doing everything my way, and for me, and nothing for him, and getting into a self pity mood. I told him he was being disrespectful which usually produces no response whatsoever. (why do I even hope for apology is beyond me)
I admit it bothers me when he sleeps from 11pm till 10 am and is so very bothered to get up. When he does wake up, he is basicly doing us all a favor and then we get to this outburst after I don't feel like scratching his back. Sorry!!!
The saddest part of it is I have no idea what to say or do to make this in any way constructive. How am I to be helpful or supportive after being yelled at?
Anyway, we are back to being married!!! woohooo!

2007-10-08T03:06:00.000-07:00

HORMONES AND HOMELESSNESS.

Pregnancy hormones don't seem to help my mood. I am dying to move out of this trash can and have a clean place of our own. Or at least (if I don't clean it) to know that I am in my own dirt...
I am also fed up with work as I seem to feel worse when I work full days. Half days don't seem to really 'pay off'...
I think, people are clueless about therapy and effects of illness on the child/ life itself. There's the lady from MOPS and she was in a good old denial about the need of therapy for her kid. Her kid had a lung transplant and spent a half a year in hospital. Now she is spoiled and woman is just going ahead with life 'as if nothing happened'. 'Good luck' is my only recomendation. But after all the kid may not live too long, so they may not even get to the real problems ever... One mom suggested that it might be 'just a phase'. Again, no comment. It just shows how people are totally ignorant.
We went to birhtday party and I guess, I am really hitting the brick wall in regards to my husband. Realization that we are so entirely broke and likely not going to steadily improve is somewhat killing me. Birthday party was lovely. Many people, some grandparents, friends etc. Benefit of living in one place for ever.
So, bad morning, esp. when it starts at 4:45. Hate those.

2007-09-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

MENTORING

I can't get on the darn website for mentoring. I can't believe it!!!
I have a mentee and have to go to the retarded library to get to the website. Worse yet, I have to take Fuzzy with me and try to compose a superfast message with him at my feet in library where they expect people to be quiet!

Got to catch up on my bible reading, I am very behind but got to read Hebrews 11 and 12 and that was incredibly helpful.
Would like to make a friend - Danielle. Might work out because we have at least two similar interests. God and adoption. (the divine combination... just kidding)

Life is otherwise somewhat poor but I am good at not thinking about it too much. (until the next time I have to deal with stupid DCF)

Still pregnant and feeling good!

2007-09-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

CHILD SUPPORT

So I went to "comply with child support enforcement". I tried to keep casual mood as this is a total irritator to me.
Basicaly, I told the guy what I thought of the whole thing and he said that as long as state is giving me money for my son (i.e. food stamps) we have to go this route. This is little bit of a problem because it involves Department of Revenue. So. We can't really fool around a whole lot here.
He also told me that if I have change in situation every week, I need to notify them (DCF) every week. I told him they were soooooooooooooooooo slow...
I did tell him what I thought of this whole thing yet, WE WILL COMPLY. I love THE SYSTEM. Reminds me of Matrix a whole lot.
I am considering telling my husband to come home. I am considering forgeting about food stamps. I am considering getting a rich life.
Poverty SUCKS.
On the bright side, Fuzzy had a lovely day yesterday at the playground. There were big puddles and he soaked his shoes and then took them off and played in the mud. He was so happy about it. We also fought with sticks. He loved it. I did feel tired in the evening.
Fuzzy's teacher at school is having problems with her pregnancy and looks very tired. My heart goes out to her. How are you supposed to have a life when you are pushed from every side? I don't get it.

2007-09-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

Cocroaches, child abuse and DCF

I was making a list of things I hate. First were cocroaches (which btw DIED!!!!!). Second was child abuse (which isn't really second but just came to mind second) and today I had to add DCF. I just LOVE them falks (yeah!)
We are applying for medicaid for my pregnancy. Have you ever done that? I am becoming pretty good at predicting their requirements (and they are usually quite out of this world) but today they really surprised me. Because my husband lives out of state I have to submit an application for child support! Excuse me?! I told the lady we don't want to do that, that we are in fact a family. No, I have to do it. I mean what do you say to that. How much money is he sending me? She asked. I said, well, he's been unemployed for over a month so he didn't send anything... So there goes I guess child support. I also told her that when I applied in the past (while separated) it didn't do a thing (they never even contacted me once). She "doesn't know about any previous cases, but I have to apply".
There's DCF for you.

2007-09-15T06:27:00.000-07:00

COCROACHES, ANTS AND THE REST OF THE SUCKERS.

Today is Saturday. My favorite day. Fuzzy told me at 7:30 in the morning that he wants to go to the beach... (that was his first sentence of the morning)
Anyways.
Marti is coming back I guess today from her trip.

Major purchase of yesterday was roach traps. I put them all around the car. I am SICK, SICK, SICK of those Mother-F...
Regardless, this morning I saw two of them dead!!!!!!!
Die, you stinky creatures! I hate them.
My husband is laughing at me but I told him that I am willing to move up north so that all roaches can die. I am not kidding. One thing that gets me up and moving is pests. They do have some power, I guess.

Other then that, I think the Munchkin is doing fine, didn't see any more bleeding. Reducing my job hours may still poze a challenge but I am taking it one step at the time.
Duckie had a good point. She told me that I don't have a bad feeling regarding the pregnancy and I agreed. I sure hope that is a reliable indicator that EVERYTHING will be allright.
:)

2007-08-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

So, I guess it's time to add to my blog.
Bumpy has a new nick: Fuzzy. He woke up this morning with the sentence: And when there's snow, we have to make snowmen. And I said: yes. This from a three year old who has never seen snow...
Tudu was so nice as to aks me how I was doing. I see she's bored when her kids are at school...
Today I was thinking about something important but my memory is really fading slightly. Oh, well, it'll come to me later.
I may add more content when Fuzzy goes to sleep. He's not tired until 9 pm. (sadly)

2007-02-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

Phoebulka wrote me an email. She's going to India for a month.

I listened to Aerosmith; Dream on.
"Live and learn from fools and from sages, You know it's true, All the things you do come back to you"...

I am stuck. Still stuck since 15. I know I am.
Soooooo. Now I get to go to counselling! Like a real American! Yeah? We all have issues?! Yes we do.

Rethinked my relationship with God again... And feel like I want to be close with Him.
I think it's going to be good with Marti. I am going to tell her about my feelings, see what she has to say. I am really hopeful.
I rethinked Bob too. I really don't care about the outcome with him. That's kinda sad... but it's true...

Julian is going to be one. Andy is really depressed. Duckie's parents are there. Duckie got much better. She is doing so much better. Thank God for Duckie. She is a gift from Him. Thanks.

2007-01-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

NEw year, new life?! We shell see.
Immigration is suppose to come up with an answer to my petition by Feb 26th. Let's see. If they approve me, I owe three grand to lawyer and can get a normal job.
If they deny me, I am screwed, longterm... Yep
Living at MIL right now. And probably can stand it for couple of months. I told Bob to get into counselling before he can lay a hand on me. I sure hope he won't lay hand on me any time soon.
I am slightly depressed, Andy and Andrea are moving out of state on Saturday!
Michael turned out to be everything lucy predicted. I am glad I am out of there.
Since I am now unemployed, I got aproved for medicaid and food stamps.

2006-12-17T09:36:00.000-08:00

So.
Things are interesting as usual.
I figured out that I don't like to recreate home because that's where I had hard time in the first place.
Mike wants to have another roommate. YEEEEESSSS. That should take preassure off me to be his whatever.
Right now I am being a maid and pretty darn good. As Andy said: make house so immaculate that you become important. I am going to do that. Hopefuly I can stay here longer then.
I need to stay here and make money outside and pay my debts and put money aside.
I applied for medicaid. If I could get it, then I can forget about health ins. Health ins. is expensive.
Got to decide if to keep it.
I realised that I take critique as attack. That is threatening to me and then I shut down. (result of my mom's abuse) This is significant.
I still didn't figure out the Christmas for baby. I just know I have to do something.

2006-12-12T05:47:00.000-08:00

Well, I am officialy jobless. Blah
I did make money yesterday cleaning Andrea's house.
Michael is trying to make peace with me. I am not so hot. But oh, well, lets see.
Shelter, calling my mom and afidavit are my today's goals.
How can I make more money?
Need to call Duckie and ask her to ask Zora for whoever's ph. number.
I am definitely going to enjoy being home with Bumpy.
I can "make up" what we lost when he first went to daycare. That was so hard.
Bumpy loves bathtub.
I am seriously concerned about him not having Christmas this year. Michael won't let us do Christmas here. This is a problem. I remember Xmas when I was two. The most magical Xmas ever. It's the first Xmas I do remember from childhood. I want to make it special. But HOW.
Another issue is matrasse (sp). I have to put it SOMEWHERE. Michael wants me to get rid of it. NO WAY. Anyhow, he offered me $200 for it. But I want to have it. So. Will see.

2006-12-07T17:02:00.000-08:00

OK. we have some major development. Rich is a really evil guy. We all got that now. Duckie still has issues and I have slight attachement/ relationship issues. Duckie was kind enought to point that out to me but she also told me what to do about it. So that's nice. I have to learn to interact with multiple people.
Andy thinks that I am a "horrible friend" and I shouldn't ask him about his opinion but he still talks to me (which is what kinda matters to me).
Michael doesn't know anything.
Andy has the understanding that some lovers are just stupid. (in his life)
Duckie and Andy are still married but Duckie doesn't understand how close she was to losing it all!!!! She doesn't quite get it. Which is pretty amazing.
Bunch of stufffffff.
I have no idea what the future holds. And I am suppose to be brave and step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there and try a real friendship. Bllllaaaaahhhhh
Fear makes me sick to my stomach. blllaaaahhhhh

2006-11-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

Some things going on.
I decided that I don't want to have any kind of commitment with Michael other then dating.
I talked to Duckie about Rich and told her that IMO he's RAD. We agreed on manipulation 100%. I am sorry that I didn't see it earlier. But I hardly ever talked to him before now. Amuzing is that Rich finds me dangerous... (It is not our abilities that define us but our choices; is the only thing I can say)
Duckie's counselling is helpful. Hillarious counseller told her about "semiretired hooker". That was a definite funny story.
I realised that friends are in your life to help you figure things out (as in my opinion life is something to be figured out - and I find that aspect absolutely great about life and a reason to love it).
A very interesting question surfaced: "why am I dating Michael?". I am unable to answer it. I am pretty sure that it was a deliberate decision on my part. I can't explain it. I definitely enjoy dating him. Which is also somewhat amazing.

I called my mom. She is lovable. I told her that I went to visit a synagog. She said: "Well, you did a very good thing". She thinks that I am expanding my horizons, I bet. Boy, that's gonna be something else to break it to her that I am seriously considering it as a way of life. Well, her second chance to accept my religious choices...
Even if I did go jewish; I am pretty sure I don't want to convert Baby to judaism. First, he would remember circumsicion I believe. And even thought we wanted to have him circumsiced at birth; it didn't happen. Second, he moved in my belly first time when we went to see "Passion of the Christ"; Big reason for me to see it as a "sign". And third, he can decide when he grows up.
Even though, I would try to expose him to the jewish everything incl. school. But, schools are expensive and the most likely scnario is that he'll end up in a local public school. Sight.
SN falks have lot's of problems... I think about them a lot.

2006-11-25T10:31:00.001-08:00

Well, it didn't quite work. You have to actually click on the rectangle to see the picture. Oh, well, it took me a good long while to put them there anyway. So I am not taking them off.
But!!!
I was at chat last night. I like my chat. I like my SN family. Jenny exposed my dating with Michael. Crick is smart and Lucy gave me her opinion.
Michael called today to see how I was doing.
Lucy told me to run.
I dont' have a fear of being owned. I know I can live through that - which I did with my mom. I have to see just how it's gonna play out.
I think my issue is going to be not to get sucked into it; into the whole idea of too deep of a relationship (if there are no major issues). I don't know.
If things went seriously wrong, Baby goes to Bob and I can leave. I don't think things will go seriously wrong.
Rich wrote me a somewhat more concrete email. He basicly lost illusions about me. I had no illusion but accusation hurts anyways. When people admit their hurt they don't seem so evil.
Lucy is going to work in Walmart. She can run the Walmart and the entire neighbourhood. Walmart did their best hire in a long time. I hope they promote her and give her good benefits. Then S can get hearing aids for less money.

I am going to try to work some and see if I can make money. I am going to see more about Canada too. Canada is a nice place.
I am smart capable flexible reliable. Why the heck can't I just stay here and prove it?
I gave Momraine a gift and she thanked me. It's not easy to be away/without loved ones for holidays.

There's something in my throat that is bohtering me there. Halls help only temporarily.

2006-11-25T10:31:00.000-08:00

2006-11-25T10:26:00.000-08:00

Some pictures from before Thanksgiving:
My little Sunshine. I had a slow exposure and I moved the camera, he moved etc. but "you get the picture".

2006-11-15T06:54:00.000-08:00

Little bit of Judaism about a rape:
In cases of rape, a woman is generally presumed not to have consented to the intercourse, even if she enjoyed it, even if she consented after the sexual act began and declined a rescue! This is in sharp contrast to American society, where even today rape victims often have to overcome public suspicion that they "asked for it" or "wanted it."

2006-11-15T06:24:00.000-08:00

Ain't it Fun... when you are always on the run; when your friends despise what you've become
Ain't it Fun when you know that you gonna die young, such fun, such fun, such fun... SUCH FUN
Ain't it Fun when you are like: I just gotta get a gun
'cause you are stuck in too deep in something that really stunk...
... such a disgrace...
Such fun, such fun, such fun

This song by Guns and Roses is quite relaxing... Definitely today.
Conversation with Rich yesterday SUCKED.
BIG TIME.
It's making me sick to my stomach and I don't even want to think about it.
to be continued...

2006-11-14T08:38:00.000-08:00

OK, JUDAISM.
It makes sense. It fits...
I definitely came to a conclusion that I am not a Christian in any way, shape, or form...
This is partially sad because most of the SN falks are Christians...
But it could be totally swell if I could belong to Jewish comunity... yep.

It is amazing how much of Judaism fits. It's unbelievable.
The fact, that something fits this well is not a small thing in my life. I think I am falling in love with it.
Well, let's see...

2006-11-06T09:19:00.000-08:00

Soooooooooooooooooooo!
I am dating Michael????!!!!!! What the heck! And liking it! No matter how wierd he is; he is 100 times better then Bob. I have to break it to Rich somehow though. Rich is paying for my immigration. Hmmmmm. What did I get myself into? I can't even tell Lucy.
Nevertheless, I am EXCITED!!!
And listening to Neil Diamond. I am sooo out of date with music.
How am I going to get out of this sh**?
Tudu wrote me. Hello Tudu! I'll come visit you one day, don't worry. I like crazy people. I think that's not a nice thing to say; is it? Sorry Tufu, KWIM?

2006-11-03T07:51:00.000-08:00

So, Michael wants a "joint venture". What the hell.
I wrote him an email detailing what would be required to proceed to joint venture... Let's see.
Anyway.
I think I really like Lisa (counsellor). I am sure I am a number trillion-blah-blah in her job. Which is what I hate about meeting nice people. That I mean nothing to them.

My mentoring program is actually calling for references now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES, YES, YES!!! I think I am so thrilled I can't contain the happiness. They talked to Kevin and to Lani(perhaps?) and Duckie told them she was busy. I hope they call Andy.
Soooo, quite few things going on.
However Rich did not respond to my inquiry as to what he "plans for me". Which is just as well. Boy, how I don't care about him; sad... Anyways I don't really have such a GREAT opinion about him.
Bumpy's healthy now.

2006-11-02T06:15:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well, it indeed looks like we will be moving up north. PA?!!!!!
I will be closer to Lorraine. That's about it. I have no winter cloths. Everything will be new for Bumpy. I will hopefuly have internet. And washing machine and water... OH BOY.
That's gonna be something.
I need to get back to internet.

2006-09-06T07:32:00.000-07:00

Well, little better mood today.
I was quite "not fun to be around" with Michael yesterday while talking about water... He wants to fix everything himself. Did I mention that fridge doesn't work and washing machine works on "cold" cycle only? And his suggestion: We should fix water first because then you will be happier with the result of washing machine... And I said: and what do I do in between? And he says: I take my loundry to the drycleaners. BUT I DON'T MAKE THAT MUCH MONEY AS TO GO TO DRY CLEANERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Needless to say it was not a happy conversation. He talked about an old lady and how he's driving her around and about the crocodile hunter who died. I said: I wish that soap operas and crocodile hunters were my problems... Again, not very fun to be around. OH, WELLLL.
Otherwise, I am looking for a different place but since I have nowhere to go, I am staying put. Bumpy went to Bob whom I told that I will not be getting an appartment with him (EVER) and I suspect it didn't make his day.
Shawn responded to my email. He has a new boat. Life is laughing in my face. Andy is remodeling his home, Andrea changes her flight ticket and Michael goes to drycleaners.

Kevin has similar problems as me. Kevin is BROKE.
Sure thing is: poverty isn't a pretty place...

2006-09-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

OK, so this move was a mistake. Big mistake maybe? Yes. Hmmm. I will have to move if Michael won't fix his water system. Moon came out yesterday and said that it would be around $2200 to fix it. That's his first estimate. He would do it. But if Michael doesn't want to do it I have to move. So.
Andy said it is my fault because I moved too quickly. Yeah. I told him that I hate to live with people who don't want me around and who smoke in the house to get me out. He said that "then you made the right decision" but I know he thinks otherwise.
Bob suggested to get an appartment with me. I told him that I dont' want to get a place with him. If I think about how he "unhelped" me with my immigration, I am ready to smack him over the phone.
And I can't move because of that all.
So, all in all, this is another day in paradise! And I sure want to cry.

2006-09-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

OK, the MOVE
Horrrrribbbleee water! Yellow and stinky. I think it wasn't as stinky today as yesterday. Michael put some water softener, solt and something in it. IT NEEDS BLEACH AND LOTS OF IT!!!
Michael: wierd. He doesn't get to see his kids. I bet at least couple of his kids aren't over 14. Why wouldn't he get to see them?!!! Wierd/ concerning. I have to find out about it. His name also isn't Stevens. His name is on the fridge- it's something else. Also He's Micheal not Michael... (also from fridge). He was very nice last night... played ball with Bumpy. (I am extremely suspicious) I basicly looked at them all the time. Am I paranoid? He went out for the night. His girlfriend was there first night... Sure he doesn't stay much in his house: IT'S UNLIVABLE. I also told him that. THE WATER HAS TO GET FIXED. The mosquitoes are unbarable. By the time I get from house to car (about 20 feet) I have like 5 circling around me. Bumpy has mosquitoes bites all over him. Me too. Mosquitoes are true SUCKERS.
Microvawe - disguisting. I yet have to find out about washer and dryer. Lets' pray.

I think unpacking is more depressing then packing. I have to actually make sense of it all. Temporary pretend that's my home. I have a pretty strong feeling that I am going to live there for a while... So I guess it is my home. But I feel uneasy about it right now.

And NO INTERNET - I feel very limited without it. Very limited. Like I can't reach out. Will have to do something about that. For sure.

2006-08-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

Another fun song that fits Lucy perfectly and some other ones incl. me
by Geri Halliwell, It's raining men

here's a part of it: hehe

Humidity's rising
Barometer's getting low
According to our sources
The street's the place to go
Cause' tonight for the first time
Just about half past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start rainin men
It's raining men
Hallejulah
It's raining men
Amen
I'm gonna go out
I'm gonna let myself get
Absolutley soaking wet
It's rainin men
Hallejulah
It's raining men
Very special men
Tall blonde dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
God bless Mother Nature
She's a single woman too
She took over heaven
And she did what she had to do
She fought every Angel
To rearrange the sky
So that each and every woman
Could find the perfect guy
It's raining men
Don't get yourself Wet Girls
I know you want to
I feel stormy weather moving in
About to begin
Hear the thunder
Don't you lose your head
Rip off the roof and stay in bed
(Rip off the roof and stay)
It's raining men
Hallejulah
It's raining men
Amen

2006-08-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

Put a little love in your heart and the world will be a better place for you and for me. You just wait and see...

I managed to get gas. Full tank of gas before Ernesto feels GOOOOOOOOOD to me.

Bumpy is at Bob's. I called today already three times and it's only lunch. (I guess I really miss Bumpy.)
Anyway, he sounded happy and I told him to take a nap to rest. He didn't tell me anything but listened. My Bumpy! Love my Bumpy. He is going to stay there through tomorrow through the storm. They are most likely going to have less of a storm then us. So. Bumpy never was away from me for more then one night. Until now. I hope it doesn't hurt him. But he loves his dad and Bob loves him too. So,I guess it's gonna be fine and I'll just read all day.

Doctor's app. went well. I really like this Nurse Practicioner. She was nice. Showed me how to do a breast exam. Which I guess I need to start doing. I am also going to go to Gyn. specialist. Yay, CAN NOT wait!!! Anyway, got to do what I got to do.

2006-08-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

Another day in Paradise!
Bumpy got fever in daycare.
Hurricanes decided to start threatening us again.
I have to move this week.
I don't have any money - none.
The gas stations are running out of gas.
Tomorrow morning I have a doctor's app. with $15 copay. Hm. Have to find $15.
And the most amazing thing is: I am not freaking out.

2006-08-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I cleaned out the office resp. I decluttered it and slightly organized. Everybody loved it. Yay, how encouraging. I feel good.
Also I talked to Andy about setting a web where I can sell fake flowers and that I need a comp and internet at my new place. Hope I hope I hope he'll help me with that. That would be great. Because I obviously need internet... for VARIOUS REASONS...

Shawn never wrote me back... what an a******. Glad I dumped him.

And, Lylac sent me fake flowers as a gift on a.com also Sah doesn't have any gift yet. I would love to give people gifts but I can't buy membership now. How sad. I have to make money. I also can't buy what I need for Lucy and I need money for Chicago!!!
Zebra told me she'll come to meet wiht me then. Hello Zebra!

And I am also adding Bumpy's picture with the water fountain. Which he LOVES.

2006-08-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

I think i have to do something wiht my life. In past two days I had three unrelated people tell me to either make money on the side or make more of my life in terms of career. HUH??? So, I guess I should. It's not easy when I have to move. But I guess it's just an excuse. Andy pointed out to me being late today and I was. I hate the trafic. If I leave house at 7:50 I get to work at the same time as when I leave at 8:10. But that's still late. Today I run out of gas. So I was late after stopping at a gas station. I don't have money. I seriously don't. I hate that. I can't even afford internet and computer.
I don't want to make money. I want to have money and spend money. I know whine, whine, whine.
It's a good whining day.

2006-08-23T12:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a picture taking day for Bumpy at daycare and he got his picture actually taken not like the last time...
Today it's a gymnastics day at daycare and I sure hope he likes it because that way he gets to ride on the BUS!!!! Bumpy loves the bus. They call it Gym Bus. So. Let's see how that goes.
Moon had a self-centered day yesterday and I am looking forward to leaving his place. He played very loud music... Not exactly what one desires after a loooong day at work, car place etc. Today we went back to the car place to finish what they started yesterday. What really bothers me is that I don't even have money for maintenance stuff.
Vladimir told me that I don't take pride in my appearance. That is true but I sure think that money would help. Maybe I am making an excuse but still.

2006-08-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

So, let's see if I can add some pictures. How was it done? Tudu said she looked at my blog. So that's cool she liked the pictures. Hello Tudu!

This picture is from our 2year old birthday cake eating... The cake was GOOOOOOOOOD.

2006-08-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

I have been aproved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
INS approved my pettition!!!
I am going to be OK!!!
YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOVE IT. LOVE IT. LOVE IT.

2006-07-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

If there's a day when to blog, it's today. Moon asked me to MOVE OUT... He wants to have a live-in girlfriend and I am in the way... (he said it differently). GREAT!!! So, we are gonna move - 4th time since Bumpy was born. That sucks... I lived in one place for the first 19 years of my life... I have not been able to provide that kind of stability for Bumpy. Bumpy loves the dog and house and he knows the house and we are gonna move to who knows where... And I like living in the country-like setting. And I have to find somebody nice and safe and tolerant of Bumpy's banging and screaming. And may not have internet at home. And will have heating next winter! And air won't be probably on 72! (couple of positives)...

2006-06-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

Lorraine got the bouncing balls!!!! Cool. She liked the picnic stitching. :) bounce, bounce, bounce :)
anyways

I looked up the Jars of Clay, Hymn and I love it:

Oh refuge of my hardened heart
Oh fast pursuing lover come
As angels dance 'round Your throne
My life by captured fare You own

Not silhouette of trodden faith
Nor death shall not my steps be guide
I'll pirouette upon mine grave
For in Your path I'll run and hide

Chorus:

Oh gaze of love so melt my pride
That I may in Your house but kneel
And in my brokenness to cry
Spring worship unto Thee

When beauty breaks the spell of pain
The bludgeoned heart shall burst in vain
But not when love be pointed king
And truth shall Thee forever reign

[Chorus]

Sweet Jesus carry me away
From cold of night, and dust of day
In ragged hour or salt worn eye
Be my desire, my wellspring lie

[Chorus x 2]

Spring worship unto Thee
Spring worship unto Thee

2006-06-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

I aksed Kevin if he knew that cabbage, brocoli and russel sprouts help preventing cancer and he said: Yes, they contain caroten. The guy is knowledgable about crap... you know?
I am trying to chose PCP and having hard time with that. I kinda wanted Indian doctor but where I called they said they didn't accept my ins. And I found them on my ins. website...! that tells you that something isn't right.
Hm.

2006-06-27T13:08:00.000-07:00

Well, doctor Goodman called me this morning. He didn't say anything about medical records other that he recieved them. He said we can try Claritin for alergies. He also said to go and get blood drawn where they have more experiences with kids. This lab was truly useless.
I sent the bouncing balls. bounc, bounc, bounc, bounc...

2006-06-26T07:25:00.000-07:00

Nowhere I can find any updates on the ADN conference. That's kinda sad. I asked Lucy about it. Let's see.

Bumpy's nose is again stuffed. I hate the stuffed nose. It comes with the regularity of exactly 3 days after we are done with antibiotics.
Bumpy cut his chin yesterday. He cried quite franticly. It also looked swallen. But it did not bleed. T.G., because I didn't feel like going to the emergency.

Andy wants to be a happy billionaire. I think it sounds fantastic. I also want to be a happy billionaire. But more than that I want to be a stay at home mom with no worries about money.

2006-06-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

Let's see if I can add more pictures:

2006-06-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

This is happy Bumpy

2006-06-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

well, I will get it eventually, I think...

2006-06-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

I guess, it worked with the pictures... So here is another one.
This is me in the office. Good old laughing self.

2006-06-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

I am trying to publish some pictures. Let's see how it works.

2006-06-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

I went to Unitarian Church last Sunday with Bumpy. We both liked it.
Andy didn't want to know about it.
Shawn said it was a good church.
Kevin finds Unitarian under Scientologists on his list of faiths. He thinks that church is not a social club but that one should examine the core faith of particular church. I think it all depends on what you are looking for. I am looking for a social club and babysitters. But! We are all different.

Some people are ignorant and some are stupid.

Kevin's brothers don't live in Florida.

Bob's phone is disconnected.

Bumpy didn't want to stay in daycare for the second day now. Bumpy wants to stay with me. I have wierd thoughts about Bumpy's teacher. Does she not like me?

2006-05-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

Today is the second day of my blog life. Kevin refused to read my blog (?!). My first entry got lost in "save as a draft" option. Maybe, I'll be able to recover it.

2006-05-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

Everybody needs a blog. So, I have one too. Now I have to find out what my blog is... which is a bit of a challenge.